Positional Distortion

Intro:  A friend and I discuss, and try to make sense of, the way facebook is changing society. What follows is pretty much the raw instant-message transcript.

Justin:  not to dredge up the facebook rant again but i think you will agree with me on this

Justin:  this is probably what bothers me the most about the attitude of some people

Justin:  it's an article about this book

Justin:  about like breaking up and how people deal with it through facebook and such

Justin:  but anyway basically in the little story or whatever

Justin:  this girl is all upset because her ex boyfriend defriended her

Justin:  and she specifically says "I hadn't talked to him in six months, maybe nine months."

Justin:  but she's super upset he defriended her

Justin:  so much that she like sends him a friend invite and then calls him and such

Me:  good god

Justin:  this is a quote: As she explained: "That's a big step, you know it's like saying I don't care about you, I don't want updates on your life, I don't want to see you anymore, like, you don't do that, that's like cutting somebody out of your life completely."

Justin:  you know what says to me "I don't care about you,"

Justin:  is not talking to someone in 6 - 9 months

Me:  true, but facebook is blurring that shit

Justin:  sort of

Me:  for some people

Justin:  i dunno i just can't say that someone is my friend or whatever if i never talk to them, but i just see their little self absorbed posts through facebook? i guess i'm just an old man but seriously

Justin:  how is that friendship

Justin:  friendship is about like... shared experiences and stuff you know?

Justin:  like hanging out and such

Justin:  it just seems so weird

Justin:  she hadn't even talked to the guy in 6 months!

Justin:  why would she even care

Justin:  unless it's part of the popularity contest you know

Justin:  like who has the most 'friends'

Me:  right but it's not about friendship

Me:  it's about acquaintance

Me:  there are always those people that aren't your friends but whom you're 'acquainted' with

Me:  see, in real life you don't need to worry about it

Me:  right? like you see someone that's in the gray area and you can choose to stop and chat or not, and you're not like seeing all their life events or whatever

Me:  but on facebook, we are becoming more acquainted with acquaintances

Justin:  ah right i see

Justin:  yeah i guess i don't really care about acquaintances

Justin:  i just don't have like mind space for that stuff

Me:  it's because you're old fashioned

Me:  and that's fine

Me:  so am I to an extent

Justin:  well it's more that i just don't care

Me:  but the reality is that the younger generations do care

Me:  facebook is as real to them as the hallways of peers were when we were in high school

Me:  it's changing the whole social construct

Justin:  yeah sort of

Justin:  see i look at it a little differently than that

Justin:  it really does seem more conceited than you're making it out to be

Me:  I just think facebook provides a more accessible channel for conceit-driven interaction to be propagated

Me:  people are still the same

Me:  they just suffer quietly less frequently

Justin:  i actually kind of disagree with that too

Justin:  people change

Justin:  people have changed significantly i think

Justin:  like you said it's the younger generation

Justin:  it's a difference in just like... the way we all think

Me:  I just think the social arena is changing, but it is changing in response to core human behaviors, behaviors that in the past were limited because there just wasn't an outlet

Justin:  yeah totally

Justin:  basically in the past people wouldn't be so sensitive about shit because they didn't have a platform

Justin:  they just wouldn't care

Me:  well, they just had to be more motivated

Me:  i.e. politicians...and celebrities

Me:  in fact, in a lot of ways we are turning into a society of celebrities thanks to facebook

Justin:  yeah exactly

Justin:  i was just about to say that too

Justin:  we're all celebrities in our little facebook world

Me:  yea and I think it fulfills a core human desire to be known, appreciated, understood and sought after

Me:  we all want to feel important

Justin:  yeah everyone wants to be famous